I fell in love

Don't laugh at me

I don’t really know how else to put this: I’m in love with a tree. I’m not kidding. We met for the first time late last year. She lives on the path at the base of the maunga out my back door.

When I first found her, I was on the phone to a friend who was telling me something important. H*** f******* s**** f*****, I cut in, I just found the most amazing tree.

She’s much taller than the trees around her. Her trunk is thick and sinewy: rich red vines plaited together in a chaotic web.

We share the same name, which is cool.

After that first meeting, I visited her a couple of times. I ate biscuits, left crumbs.

Then a month or two ago, I was in the middle of a very human experience: my skin stuffed full of feelings and the same two thoughts chasing each other around in my head. The voices around me kept shouting their bad advice, so I put on my raincoat and went to see her.

I sat at her base and I told her everything. I cried, and she listened the way that only a tree can listen. She didn’t say anything back, she just had my back. And I leaned all the way in.

I love the way she draws things up towards the light. She makes me feel lighter.

Yesterday, I went to see her again. At the first glimpse of her exquisite crevices, I felt that thrill in my chest that I've only ever associated with people I love. I ran to her with tears prickling my eyes. I’m serious. I pressed my forehead against her trunk. Hello again.

I’ve met plenty of trees before, extraordinary trees. I’ve marvelled at their beauty, looked up to them, lay in their branches. But I’ve never felt quite like this before. Do you know what I mean? Have you ever felt this way about a tree? Or is this just me?

Rata

P.S. Yep I’m still blocked from social media 🙄 (except Substack). Thanks for sending my writing forward 🥰

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